You know how there are those who are like a wet duck, allowing everything to roll off their back? Then there are others, who tend to take every comment as a personal ridicule. Well, I tend to fall in the latter of those two categories. Although, I believe, over the years I have gotten much better at letting things roll a little better.
How To Stop Taking Things Personally
If you are trying be more of a duck than a sponge, here are some things you can do to stop taking things personally.
Refuse To Give That Power To Others
You are the only one who can take control of your feelings. Allowing someone to affect you emotionally, and / or spiritually, is giving them the power to control you. You need to consider how much mental energy this is drawing from you. Realizing the high price you are paying for your mental happiness will help you understand this person is not worth it.
Rid Your Life of Toxicity
This has been a big one for me. For some reason, there are those toxic people who enter your life, and you want them to be a part of your world. However, whenever you are around them, you walk away feeling angry or mad, or maybe just depleted of energy. They use cutting words against other people, their spouses, or even you! When you cut these people out of your life, you will soon realize how much more positive your prospective becomes. You will not walk around with these poisonous words about others running through your head. It does help make your days become filled with more positive thoughts than negative.
Ask, Ask, Ask
Sometimes we can truly be over sensitive. We misinterpret actions or words, or even their emotional state at the time. Perhaps they were having a bad day so what they said or did just wrongly affected their response to you without even realizing it.
I have always been a talker. I hate letting things fester, and have never found it to do any good. I cannot stand allowing something to eat away at me, so I ask. Unfortunately, this is not always an easy conversation to have, but it is always worth it. However, it is the way you ask which will affect the outcome. Saying something such as, “You seemed a little short with me yesterday, did I do something to upset you?” can open up a positive dialog. Whereas approaching the subject like this: “What was your problem yesterday that made you act like such a b…?” may immediately put them on the defense. Or, you could even say, “Earlier when we were talking you said “…”. It hurt my feelings, or it upset me. Am I taking what you said the wrong way?”
Know Yourself Well Enough to Avoid Certain Topics
There are always those topics that we are personally passionate about. It has always been said to avoid discussions on religion and politics because they always produce arguing or someone being offended. This is very true! However, there may be other things that you feel passionate about, such as, homeschooling vs. public school, food restriction allowed in public places vs. not allowed due to allergies, gluten vs. non-gluten, etc.
If a topic comes up that you know will provoke you, do what you can to avoid it. This will save you a whole lot of grief.
It’s Not You – It’s Them
Unfortunately, there are those people who are insensitive. They tend to see things in black and white and do not how to sugar coat anything. This does not excuse their behavior, but it should help you be able to shelf it a little easier. Or as sister says, “It’s like a passing cloud, there it goes, gone.” She is definitely one that finds the “letting go” part much easier than I do.
Embrace the Positive in Your Life
It was almost as if a light bulb when off in my head that my focus was on the wrong relationships. I had been working so hard to fit in with a group of ladies, which quite honestly, did not want me in their group. It was like constantly getting punched in the stomach every time I had an encounter with one of them. Then one day I realized the relationships I should be nurturing are those who truly love and accept me for who I am.
I had been having this similar conversation with my 11-year old daughter regarding friendship. You should not have to work hard, or change who you are to be someone’s friend. A friend will accept you and understand you for being you. There should never be any type of work involved, and it should never eat up your emotional energy. You need to focus on those who want to be a part of your life and be grateful for them.
It’s time to get rid of the negative, and surround yourself with the positive. Letting go of those toxic relationships will, in the end, make you such a better person. There are just those people who we are not meant to have a relationship with, and that’s okay!
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