Consequences for Making Bad Decisions

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Last week our children were playing music on our stereo.  This is really nothing unusual, they do play music on our stereo a lot to have “dance parties” and are normally really well.  However, on this particular day they kept arguing with each other.  After a few times of warning them we ended up taking the CD away from them that they kept arguing about.  Right after my husband took the CD away he had to leave for work.  He told me which one he took away from them and that they could not have it back until the next day.

Consequences for Making Bad Decisions

Not too long after my husband left for work my daughter Megan said there was something wrong with the CD player.  As it turns out they had gotten ahold of the CD my husband took away, put it in the CD player which then got jammed.  To say I was livid would be an understatement.  I told them there are consequences for making bad decisions and this is one of a few they would be receiving.  I was actually really upset that they had the nerve to go against orders right under my nose.  I was working 20 feet from them, was I not going to hear the music?  On top of that to break our CD player while doing something they were told specifically not to do was another point of frustration.

I ended up disconnecting the CD player from the receiver and pulling it out of the entertainment center.  When I was pulling it out all the CD’s fell out, but yet I could not get the CD player to actually open.  I took the CD player apart and still could not get it to work.  In the meantime, I took the iPod Touch away from Megan for 2 days, would not allow the kids to play or watch TV the rest of the day and all three went to bed very early that night.

Sorry Flowers

Megan’s “sorry flowers”.

Standing Up to Peer Pressure

While I was working on the CD player Megan had gone outside and gathered flowers to put in glasses and present to me as an “I’m sorry”.  Megan started to put the flower into the glasses and Anna helped her.  I know they felt bad, but I was really frustrated with the lack of respect for authority.  I was also frustrated that instead of owning up to what was done Megan said that Anna “made her” do it.  Megan is 9 and Anna is 4.  I explained to Megan that she knows right from wrong and she needs to stand up to peer pressure and tell her sister (or anyone) “No that is wrong” and then walk away no matter how much begging goes on.

sorry flowers2

The next day I showed my husband the CD player, he plugged it in and it worked!  I swear I had just tried it and it would not work for me.  Apparently it just needed his magic touch.  We decided to not tell the kids at that point it was working again.  We both felt this was a good natural consequence for not following rules.  He did put back into the entertainment center and did not say anything.  A short time later they wanted to turn on music so my daughter asked for her iTouch to which I promptly said no, it was taken away for two days.  She started to complain and I told her this is one of the consequences for making bad decisions.

Eventually the iPod Touch was given back and they were told the CD player was working.  What I am hoping comes out of this is first they do not try to be sneaky again and go against direct orders.  Is that asking too much?  Even as I write this I know it will inevitably happen again because that is what kids do – they constantly test the boundaries.  The second thing I hope is that Megan learns to say no to something she knows is wrong.  I think that is what worries me the most.  I did ask her what if someone asked her to drink something she knew was wrong what she would do.  She said she would say no, but then I asked her how will she be able to say no when she could not even say no to her 4 year old sister.  I think the biggest thing with Megan is she is really afraid of doing things she knows can be harmful to her or her body.

How do you as parents reinforce with your children that they should never feel pressured into doing something they know is wrong?

About the Author

A Mommy blogger who loves working from home while raising her 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old boy/girl twins with her husband. I have a passion for learning and enjoy anything having to do with the technical side of blogging. I am also always working on self-improvement and being the best mom I can to my children. I am also a bit of a coffee addict! ❤

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Comments

  1. I probably would have handled it the same way!! It was a great lesson for the girls about peer pressure, and a start to many conversations about it I am sure!!
    Melissa Rheinlander recently posted..Thursday’s Connect Cafe Social Media Hop {8/23}My Profile

  2. You handled it perfectly. With ours, we do what we can to reinforce the rules and let them know just because ‘Billy’ can do this or that does not mean it’s ok for you to do it.
    Tamara recently posted..Knot Genie CouponMy Profile

    • Thank you Tamara! Now that Megan especially is getting older we have had to figure out what works with her for consequences. She does not seem to be bothered by too much so finding an effect way to drive the point home has always been a little challenging!

  3. barbara tryon says:

    I think you handled it very well and good on not giving in to the Ipod for two days. Its really tough to be a parent

    • Thank you Barbara!

      Being a parient is very tough. I feel like I am always questioning if what I am doing will help make the a happy, successful, productive adult, who plays by the rules! It is not an easy task. :-) Have a great day!

  4. I think you handled the situation very well, especially if this was a first time occurance.

    I have four boys (raising boys is much different than raising girls, I am told) and two of them have some emotional development problems. One of the challenges they (and I as a parent) have had to face is that they have a very difficult time seeing and accepting the consequences of their actions and they will do the same things over and over again, even if the results are unfavorable. It isn’t that they are bad kids… They are just emotionally delayed. At times, I can be very frustrated over this because they are highly intelligent and gifted children: Honor students and artists. I have a hard time coping with the fact that they can so quickly solve math and science problems that most children their age couldn’t begin to grasp, or that they can see the world around them so well and be able to express what they see in drawings and yet they can’t always see that their actions have consequences and understand that they are required to follow the same rules as everyone else.

    Children have to learn to function within the boundries of society, to follow rules and to get along with other people and cooperate. It’s a lot to learn, but those are things that will help to make them happy, productive and successful. They also have to learn to be their own people and not to allow themselves to be pressured into doing things that are either wrong or that goes against who and what they feel they are.

    You are showing these things to your children. That’s a good thing! You also gave your older daughter something to think about. How she will handle peer pressure in the future. Yay for you!
    HC Montgomery recently posted..Being Careful to Find the Happy and the Good…My Profile

    • Thank you HC for leaving this comment! I couldn’t agree with you more.

      I feel like I have to always keep in the back of my mind that what we are raising are future adults. Adults who we want to be successful, happy, and follow the rules.

      Having consequences for not following the “rules” seems to be a hard point to drive home. I feel like we are constantly being tested to keep us on our toes!

      Have a great day! ;-)

  5. LaceyL (DailyWoman) says:

    I think the key to teaching kids anything is making sure you follow through.
    My son has a tendency to try to shorten his punishment on technicality. If he is grounded from the tv he will say something like can I watch Netflix on the computer. Uh NO, that’s the same thing. He says no its not its the computer. If we ground him for 2 weeks we try to make sure he gets 2 weeks. He will try to bug us to death so we will give in but we try not to because I think it’s important to follow through.

  6. I use that same message: Positive behaviors = positive consequences, Negative behaviors = negative consequences. It’s awesome when the consequences are natural! And then constant reminders of that message. Slowly but surely, this is working in our house. Great post!
    Annie recently posted..Get on the Phone to Save Some MoneyMy Profile

    • Thank you Annie for your comment! I think as a parent you always strive to find the best way to teach your kids right from wrong, but never really know if what you are doing is right! It is always nice when you can get some validation on what you are doing! Thank you!

      Have a great evening!
      Jodi

  7. You and your husband put the ‘repaired’ CD player back on the entertainment shelf but decide to not tell your girls it is working again… and you wonder where they get their decietful streak from? The better lesson would have been: ” Yes, we have repaired the CD player. However, because your failure to follow our instructions resulted in it being broken, you will not be allowed to use it for… (set whatever condition/time frame you’d like).
    As it was, your children only learned half the lesson about actions’ consequences.

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