When Forgiveness Doesn’t Come Easy, Can You Forget?

When Forgiveness Doesn’t Come Easy

I feel terrible about something that I just need to get off my chest. I am finding it very difficult to forgive certain people. These people and their children hurt my daughter and me years ago. I know, years ago, right? I try to forgive, but then something seems to pop up to open all those old wounds again. So, what do you do when forgiveness doesn’t come easy?

When forgiveness doesn't come easy, what do you do?

I really believe in forgiveness, and stress its importance with my children all of the time. Holding anger, grudges, bitterness, and hatred in your heart eats away at you. It takes your joy away and gives the “issue” too much credit and control.

People have hurt me in the past, and I’ve forgiven and forgotten. Why not this time? Well, this is the one time that my daughter was targeted and generated such profound hurt and pain in her young life. I suppose too it affected me because the parents condoned, supported, and even advised them to act in this way.

So, how in the world can I finally move on from this when I cannot avoid constant reminders? Especially, when I don’t an apology to ever transpire. Let me start with the benefits of forgiveness.


Benefits of Forgiveness


  • Lower the risk of heart attack
  • Reduce blood pressure
  • Reduce levels of anxiety and stress
  • Improve cholesterol levels and sleep
  • Stronger immune system
  • Boost self-esteem

Forgiveness means the act of ceasing the feeling of resentment against the offender. Basically, forgiveness is a choice. Albeit, a very satisfying one if done properly.

When forgiveness doesn't come easy, what can you do?


Steps to forgiving, and/or “letting go” of the bitterness:


  • Acknowledge your emotions and the harm that’s been done to you, but also how they affect your behavior. Work to release them.
  • Choose to forgive the person who’s offended you.
  • Stop thinking of yourself as the victim by releasing the control and power of the offender and the situation it had in your life.
  • Consider counseling to help sort out your feelings and your response.
  • Write in a journal, pray, or use guided meditation.
  • Reflect on times you have hurt others, and they’ve forgiven you.

Accept the fact this is a process, and even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven repeatedly.

(You can read more on the initial incident I’m referring to in this post, which goes
into more depth on what happened.)

Do you have any insight on forgiveness? I’d love to hear it!


(for more posts on Mental Health, go here)

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About the Author

I am a work from home mom who dearly loves her 15-year-old daughter, 11-year-old boy/girl twins, and husband. I love my life and feel very blessed by what God has provided for me.

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